As long as you need me
by grandlinegirl
Summary: His parents are gone, killed in a car crash that sends Naruto veering into a downward spiral of madness. Given a choice, what will he choose? The sweet, toxic oblivion he's found? Or the love of his boyfriend and best friend?


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Hai there! It's been awhile since I've uploaded anything. I've been in a hardcore writing slump, but somehow I managed to write this! I'm actually kind of happy with it. 3 This was part of a fic trade with my friend Remmy. He asked for Kiba and Naru, angst and fluff. This is what I produced!

Warnings for this: This fic is AU, containing explicit drug use and mentions of character death. There is also a lot of cursing.

Read at your own risk, and please, leave me feedback! I live off of reviews! XD

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The floor was dirty, covered in thick grime that left suspicious stains on the bottom of Naruto's pants as he sank down against the wall. Dampness soaked into his backside; whether it was from the wall or the slick layer of sweat covering his body, he didn't know. The material clung to his body, irritating in its stickiness, but he made no move to remedy it.

There were more important matters to tend to.

Reaching into the pocket of his jeans, he withdrew a long, thin cylinder from it. He held it gently and set it down on the floor between his crossed legs. A thrill of need rushed through his body and he licked his lips in anticipation as he stripped his jacket off and threw it carelessly aside. Pushing the sleeve of his shirt up around his shoulder, he reached for the item he'd set down and stared hungrily at the murky contents within.

The way he held it was so cautious, as though it were a precious treasure that was too valuable to risk breaking. To Naruto, it was. It had become his reason for living. It was all that he had left. Others would argue, saying he had a lot. He had a steady job - or, he had until that morning - and a steady boyfriend that he'd been with for years. He had many friends and plenty of people that cared about him. Except for his parents, the two people that mattered most.

Naruto's eyes fluttered closed and his head fell limply back against the wall. His breath came in sharp pants and his chest contracted sharply, as though someone had just ripped it from him and was squeezing the life from it before his very eyes. The incredible pangs spread through his entire body and an agonizing prick in his head made him raise a fist, clutching at his dirty blond hair as images flashed behind his eyes.

The crash that had killed his parents only three months ago; his worst nightmare come true. Only he wasn't dreaming. It had become his reality, his mind playing the images over and over again until he thought he might just explode. The twisted heap of metal that had once been their car, the splatters of blood covering the hood and pavement, the smashed windshield and the broken bodies of his parents curled up lifelessly in the front seat.

There was no relief from it, as though his body was sabotaging itself. His sleep was plagued with the most horrible of dreams, and it had gotten to the point that he'd just given up on it. The dark bags under and around his normally bright eyes were testament to that. He couldn't even bring himself to eat anymore. Everything he did brought a memory to surface; a memory that ripped him to shreds.

He couldn't take anymore. It was easier this way. It hadn't been his idea. Actually, he couldn't quite remember how his downward spiral into this madness had started. It was just... his life. He could barely remember what it had been like before, or he just didn't want to. He'd closed that part of himself off, refusing to admit that it might still exist deep down inside. After all, how could he keep living normally when his parents, the two people that had brought him into this world, were gone?

Naruto's breath hitched and he restrained the choked sob that was slowly rising up his throat. Instead, he turned his arm over and stretched it out over his knee, clenching his hand into a fist. With his other, he wiped at his misting eyes and then forced his wavering vision to focus on the juncture of his elbow. He prodded at the delicate skin, his finger ghosting over half-healed and fresh pricks. Most were inflamed and the entire area was stained an angry red. Some of the tiny holes were rimmed with a deep blue-ish purple and there was barely an unmarred patch left.

"Mmm... they're all collapsed," the blond mumbled, his voice sluggish and low.

His pale brows drew together in a frown and he slapped at the skin to try and raise a fresh vein, but it was useless. With an irritated growl, he reached for his belt and tugged at the strap impatiently, unaware of the way his hands trembled. Pulling it free of the loops, he reinserted the strap into the metal clasp and slipped it over his arm, moving it up to his bicep. He tightened it until the leather bit into his skin and placed the belt between his teeth, keeping the pressure tight as he picked up the loaded syringe with his free hand.

"There we go!" Naruto grinned maniacally, seeing the pale vein emerge beneath his skin.

He uncapped the needle and threw the lid aside, taking the glass tenderly between his thumb and middle finger. Without hesitation he stuck it into his arm, watching the murky contents mix with the bright red of his blood. Satisfied that the placement was proper, he pressed down on the plunger and breathed a sigh of relief as the contents disappeared into his body, bringing with it the emotionless oblivion that he so badly craved.

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The lights were on when Naruto stepped back into his apartment and he immediately knew that his boyfriend was awake. He could smell the freshly brewed coffee and hear the TV playing quietly in the living room. The flickering light broke through the darkness, casting eerie shadows over the walls as whatever had been left on played.

Slipping his dirty sneakers off, Naruto hoisted his backpack further onto his shoulders and hung his keys on the peg hanging by the door. Clicking the lock into place, he forced his heavy legs to move him into hallway and paused.

He really didn't want to deal with Kiba right then.

Turning towards the bedroom, the blond made it half-way there before his name was called out. He considered ignoring it, but knew that his boyfriend would only come after him.

"What do you want?" Naruto grumbled, his voice thick and defensive.

"Come here for a second."

"No... you come here."

Trudging into the bedroom, the backpack was thrown onto the ground and he sat heavily on the corner of their bed. He gripped one of the posts and absently traced patterns into the dark wood as he waited for the inevitable. The veneer was smooth under his touch and he was fascinated by the way the digit seemed to move in slow motion. The gesture was soothing and he didn't even hear the heavy footsteps coming down the hall towards him. Nor did he hear the door creak open, or see the lanky brunet lean against the door frame with a scowl on his face.

"You're high again."

It wasn't a question, it was a statement. It required no answer. It was obvious in the glazed eyes that had once held so much life, so much conviction. Now they were just.. dead.

Kiba bristled as the blond merely shrugged and a thrill of anger ran through his body. He crossed his arms over his chest and forced himself to take a deep, calming breath.

It didn't work. _How_ could it work? Seeing your boyfriend, the person you've loved for years and known your entire life slowly kill themself was torture. It wasn't only Naruto going down, Kiba was going down with him.

"Come on, Naruto! You can't keep fucking doing this!" The Inuzuka exploded. "You weren't the only one that cared about them! I was practically raised by them, too!"

His shoulder's slumped and his head hung, his eyes shadowed beneath his bangs. He drew in a shaky breath and combed his fingers through his hair.

Naruto's eyes widened and he paused in his movements. His hazy eyes flicked to the brunet, taking in the dejected form. A pang of hurt resonated through his chest as the statement rang true. Memories filtered through his head, one by one, all of the times they had spent together. He worried his bottom lip to the point that he broke through the skin. A single bead of blood dripped down his chin, dangling precariously before falling off.

It was true... He hadn't even stopped to consider how much his lover might be hurting. They had been friends since the time they were five years old. His parents had taken the feisty kid under their wing and treated him like their own child. He'd been so wrapped up in himself that he hadn't given any thought to how Kiba felt...

"Kiba, I-"

"Do you really want to lose the only thing you have left?" Kiba interrupted, his eyes blazing.

He stalked across the room and snatched the discarded backpack from the floor, digging through it until he emerged with a few syringes. He held them up and the dim lighting glinted maliciously off the glass, as though reiterating his statement.

"Do you really want to lose everything over _this?_ Is it worth it, Naruto? Because I'm at my fucking wit's end." He threw his hands up in exasperation and stalked closer to the placid blond. "Tell me! Do you want me or the drugs?"

Naruto's head raised until their gazes locked. His eyes flicked to the items in the shaking hand and he swallowed thickly.

God, he wanted it. No, he _n__eeded_ it. How would he cope without it? It took everything away. It made everything better. But...

The blond looked back to Kiba, who was slightly hunched and breathing heavily through his anger.

There was no competition, he realized. His love for the man standing before him, their relationship, meant everything to him. If he had to choose between losing Kiba and staying blessedly void, and keeping him but dealing with the emotions...

"I want you."

The Inuzuka let out the breath he didn't know he'd been holding. It came out in a relieved rush of air and some of the tension left him, but not the determination. He lifted his hand, holding it out for his boyfriend to take. When a clammy hand closed around his own, he pulled the blond from the bed and tugged him down the hall towards the bathroom.

"Get rid of them, Naruto. I'm not going to let you keep doing this. You're stronger than that. You don't need the fucking drugs anymore."

Without another word, the needles were placed in the blonds' hands and Kiba stepped away, leaving the decision up to him.

"But- I just bought them... That would be a waste of money, and..." Naruto fell silent at the stern look on the marked face and he glanced uncertainly at the garbage can.

Before he could make up any more excuses, he forced himself to pull it close and held the first instrument over the opening, reminding himself repeatedly that he was doing it for his boyfriend; his best friend. He snapped it in half, the sickening crack making him wince, and watched the precious toxin inside drip into the white bag before dropping both pieces inside. He did the same with the others and when it was finished he slumped onto the floor, leaning back against the wall like he had earlier, when he'd first gotten them. He curled in on himself as the panic set in, clutching his blond strands tightly as he struggled to breathe.

Kiba's heart clenched at the sorrow exhibited by his lover and was quickly on the floor beside him, pulling him into strong arms. He tucked the soft head of hair beneath his chin and held tightly, rocking slowly back and forth. He felt the tears wetting his shirt and placed a soft kiss on the sweaty temple, gently brushing them away with the pad of his thumb.

"It's okay, Naruto," he murmured. "You're going to be okay..."

"You're gonna stay, right?" Naruto whispered, burying his face in the crook of his boyfriend's neck as he trembled violently.

"Yeah..." Kiba's lips twitched into a small smile and he tenderly nuzzled the soft strands tickling his skin. "Don't worry. I'll be here as long as you need me..."


End file.
